What will you say, when you see my face?
I went to see this today.
Drawn more by the fact it was made by Neveldine/Taylor the guys who made the Crank films and Gamer which were fantastic visceral action films with a real visual flair.
So I was excited they got a chance to do a bigger budget film, and even better a Marvel film.
The result unfortunately is a bit of a mess. And I shall tell you why… (may be a bit spoiler-y)
- Nicolas Cage. The man is a mentalist that is for sure. You would think he would be suited to a comic-book film where outlandish personalities are the norm. Unfortunately not. Cage decides from scene to scene whether to play the role mean and moody/caring family/balls hanging out of his leather pants mental. Very rarely does it suit the scene.
- The action scenes. Always seem to have something lacking, not what you would think from a Neveldine/Taylor film. There is one big set piece in the film but its over in about 3 minutes.
- The rating. Its a 12A. A 12FUCKINGA. Which means no the directors, who have worked on the most violently sweary awesome films are restricted as to what they can show. And the film suffers for it, the same jerky throwaround camera work is now chasing a fast bike or a chain flying around rather than Jason Statham ripping some cunts ear off.
- The plot. Its a load of old shit.
Lets hope they do another crank film next to make all this 12A shit a distant memory.
Hello Mate, Got any kids yet? I’ve got two!
The opening conversational gambit of a man who i went to school with about 15 years ago and haven’t really spoke to since. Which shows the area my parents live in to a tee.
I have come to the conclusion…
That due to a combination of my impossibly high standards and genuine confusion/anger/hatred of 99% of the females I have met, I will most probably never find love. So from here on in I dedicate myself to pursuits I can understand and comprehend. Like loud music, Playstation 3, baking, comedy and blu-ray movies (HD makes real life look shit). Anything outside of that I no longer have interest in.
Cheers.
Know how you feel mate.
My Modern Warfare 3 Review.
In single player its six hours of….
- Shooting lots of Russians and African men in the face.
- Running around waiting to be told who to follow.
- Strange quotes on the philosophy of war appear when you are killed.
- The Russians have ALL the worst weapons.
- Amazing cinematic set-pieces.
- Lots of dead people.
- Closure of the story-arc.
- Captain Price.
Now back to lovefilm you go disc, im not good enough to use you online!
If I only ever give you one thing from reading this blog, let it be this work of fucking art.
If this isn’t one of the most beautiful, amazing, pleasurable things you see today then you had a better day than I.
The General Public Know Nothing…
As they watch ‘Mrs Brown Boys’ and fucking love it.
It gets over 5m viewers!
What is it?
Is it a live comedy show?
Why are the mistakes left in?
Are they even mistakes or scripted?
Either way it is like My Family with swearing. Yes its THAT bad.
My musical god, Ryan Adams has decided my favourite track off his latest album is to be his next single. I’m sure he did it for me. I’M SURE.
